My Personal Hell
by JessieBear22
Summary: I scarred him, manipulated him, fooled him, and he took my most valued possession. I pulled the wings off of the wrong butterfly, and learned sometimes centers do not hold. The only problem is, I learned too late. He lost some pride, but I lost my life.
1. Draco Malfoy Here

**A/N: Gosh it's been awhile. Alright. I decided to come back with a new story. And yes I'm aware it's been a couple of months since I've updated on my other stories and I'm sorry. School's started for me and I'm trying to start off good. Ha… Even if I do, it won't last. YES I do plan to update on A Mudblood's Slave soon! Yay! But until then, you can enjoy this story and others if you'd like. Love to all. Hope you like it. Tell me what you think. And of course, if you want more, you know what to do.**

**ALSO: This is only an introduction. Next chapter will be out soon depending on reviews. If no one's reading it, I'd rather spend my time writing on the stories I know people like!**

**My Personal Hell**

Hello, Draco Malfoy here. Some of you may be quite familiar with me, where as other's may not be… Ha! Everyone knows who and what I am. I'm a rich _pureblooded_ wizard who hates anything remotely related to muggles. Except perhaps their rock music… Well actually… I _was_ a rich pureblooded wizard at one time in my short life. You see, there was an 'accident' whilst I was attending my seventh year at Hogwarts. An 'accident' that turned out ending my life.

So you may have a few questions for me hmmm? The most common one probably would have to be:

"Draco Malfoy, if you're dead, then how the hell are you talking to me?"

You see, my soul hasn't been set free yet. I guess you can say that I'm not quite ready to leave my mortal life behind as I know it. Not ready to let go of the simple pleasures of the most common things. Things I never appreciated before now. But I'm not visible like Moaning Mertle or Peeves…that bastard. I'm in more of a vapor state. If a human being were to wander through my little cloud self, they'd have to wipe frost off of their eyebrows. I'm the chill that people feel go up their spines, the devil that danced on their back. The most correct term would be the draft that just traveled past or through them. Ghost? No. I'm not here on Earth just to haunt Potter and his friends. Truthfully, I couldn't even if I wanted to.

I'm here to bring the truth of my tragic 'accident' to light. So, I'm guessing you're already getting the idea. My death was no accident. Not by a long shot. It was planned out quite elaborately and of course with the most measured caution of Snape when he's brewing a death draught. And no, it's not Snape. Snape did find my body though. It had drifted from the lake out of the school gates and into the Forbidden Forest, where it was gnawed on for several days before he came to retrieve the venom of a large and rather grotesque spider.

So I guess I'll get to my story now, seeing as I have plenty of time to burn. And I plan to stay far away from the Light for as long as I can. Yes, I believe in heaven and hell. But I'm not quite ready to go into either of those places yet. My peaceful transition into the unknown will only be possible when my murderer is caught. And yes, I do believe I may go to heaven. Even though I was an evil little twat whilst I was on Earth, I don't think I've done anything serious enough to make me burn for the rest of eternity.

But you may disagree… As my story goes on.

**A/N: Thanks for taking the time. Leave me a review. This is sort of different from my other stories, but none of my stories are exactly alike. If you're not too crazy about this one, look at my others:D**


	2. Longbottom: A Strange Boy

**My Personal Hell**

Neville Longbottom… He's the most pathetic Gryffindor of them all. He's at least a couple of inches shorter than I am. He's got crooked buckteeth and a face full of acne scars. His hair's untidy like Potter's and slightly greasy at times… His eyes are seaweed green and his skin is pale white. He has freckles on his arms, and face, sprinkled across his nose and cheekbones. His robes are always wrinkled and he wears too much cologne. Potter pretends to be friends with him out of the kindness of his big lion heart, and so does every one else, because they follow Potter in everything he does.

Back to Longbottom.

He's quiet and introverted. He tries to draw as little attention to himself as possible, but the mere sight of him trying to awkwardly carry all of his books and bag in his arms at once makes it quite difficult to blend into the damp stone walls of the castle.

Now you may have a new question for me.

"Draco Malfoy, why the hell do you know so much about this bloke?"

Well folks, my story has officially begun. Aren't you excited?

It was a cloudy day in October. A few days before Halloween and the change in the weather had become apparent. The air was cool and nippy. It turned your cheeks and nose bright red. Especially if your skin is as pale as mine was at one point. I sat near the lake, flanked by my cronies and main girl.

Pansy…

She sat near to me, huddled from the sharp breeze that bit into our skin. Her gloved hand teased the hair at the nape of my neck while we talked amongst ourselves. Now I never really fancied Pansy the way she fancied me, but I loved having her around just in case I were to feel a bit…feisty.

"You know what I heard?" Blaise Zabini said in that quiet way of his. Girls loved him because he was so cool and reserved. He was what you'd call dark and mysterious, his skin slightly darker than milk chocolate, and his eyes the tint of coal. It was hard to tell where his genetic pool had originated, seeing as he looked as though he could be from anywhere in the world where there was a lot of sun. His mother was exotic and just as mysterious as he was. She was very beautiful to put it in the politest of terms. Any young man my age knows what that means.

Zabini's mom has got it going on. And you know what _it_ is.

His father disappeared before he was born out of wedlock. His mother had been an exotic dancer in the old days. She'd gotten pregnant while on the job. From what Blaise told me, he was conceived on a dressing room table. After that, his father paid Ms. Zabini off so she wouldn't come after him legally. He gave her enough money to make it so she never had to dance in eight-inch heels and see-through lingerie ever again. Even though she probably enjoyed it…

Too bad. I bet she was good at it.

"What?" Pansy asked. Her gossip alarm had just gone off inside of her head. Juicy news from the Zabini factory! Blaise never spoke about any one unless it was truly a good piece of information.

"I heard that Neville Longbottom likes blokes," he replied quietly, leaning against a tree. I laughed.

"Of course he does!" I replied my voice carrying across the grounds as it often did. I was arrogant, I'll admit it. Always looking to turn the heads of those around me. And of course, people were hopelessly drawn to me. The day just wasn't finished unless somebody tuned into the Slytherin rumors and spread them smoothly through the school population like one spreads margarine on toast, seeing as real butter is quite hard to spread… Unless you let it sit out.

"He's too ugly to make any decent girl fall for him…Not even Granger would stoop so low," I replied.

"Well," Blaise said examining his nails. "Potter found some nudie magazines under his bed… And the word in the halls is that they weren't girly mags. Full of males with their wangs hanging out."

"And what was Potter looking under Longbottom's bed for?" I asked, forgetting about my audience. Blaise shrugged.

"Maybe he's into blokes too," he replied.

The five of us burst out laughing.

**DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN**

I guess Potter was the one to expose Longbottom's 'habit' to the whole school. So the rumor was a reality for the awkward Gryffindor who didn't fit in anywhere. And truthfully, I don't think he tried to. At least not after he finally realized he didn't have a chance to make it in civilization. So he became talented in Herbology and tagged along with Saint Potter when invited. Some friend Potter turned out to be… You'd think he'd have the decency to keep his 'friend's' secret.

Little did I know, a new plot to humiliate poor Longbottom was being born. And of course the main character in the scheme was I. I wasn't informed until this stunt was planned completely and ready to be put into action.

**DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN**

I passed Longbottom on my way out of the Entrance Hall during the Halloween ball. He sat with a pair of head phones placed over his ears, leaning back with his eyes closed and bobbing to the music, his dress shoe tapping rhythmically against the cool stone step.

"Less concerned with fitting into the world," he sang. "Your world that is…Cause it doesn't really matter any more…"

I watched him with dull interest, my breath escaping my lips in a white cloud that faded away into the night. I was thinking about the bet I'd been presented with that very night. The certain bet that included he and me. Poor grammar? Oh well. What does it matter when you're dead? But am I bitter? No!

Moving on.

"What are you doing out here Longbottom?" I asked, sitting on a few steps lower than he himself was.

If you're wondering, I took the bet. I'm shameless!

He ignored me, and I figured it was because his music was quite loud. So I picked up a small pebble and threw it at his face. He started and stared down at me wide eyed, his wand in his hand and poised to jinx the first person in sight.

This of course was comical, and I began to laugh.

"You are sad!" I said walking up the couple of steps that separated us. "Longbottom, you're practically a squib," I murmured reaching down and plucking his wand out from his clammy fingers. Butter fingers! The stick came quickly unglued from his grasp. "You couldn't curse me even if your life depended on it. Honestly! You call yourself a pureblood!" I knew he could hear me. He'd turned down the volume on his muggle contraption.

"What do you want with me Malfoy?" he asked, his mouth pointed down in a frown. No fight in the boy at all! This was no fun.

"Is it true then?" I asked leaning down, so that our faces were closer than I would've liked. But I was playing the part now, and you may not know it, but I'm an excellent actor.

"Is what true?" he asked, placing his earphones around the back of his neck.

"I've heard you're queer," I replied, with one pale eyebrow raised. "So… Is it true?"

"That's none of your business," he snapped, for the first time, real anger surfacing.

"Perhaps not," I replied with a simple nod. "But you just gave me all I need. I'm quite accomplished in reading minds you know. Wait until everyone hears." I turned to leave when…

"Wait!" Longbottom cried. I turned with both eyebrows raised impatiently this time.

"What?" I asked.

"Please Malfoy, it's already bad enough!" he whined.

"So you admit it then?" I asked.

"You already know the truth," he murmured, staring at a cockroach that scurried between us. He was so easy. I let my foot come crashing down on it, snapping him out of his strange trance.

"So does everyone else," I replied.

"Yes but don't make it worse," he said, staring at me pleadingly. Oh yes, too easy indeed. His fate was sealed. And little did I know, so was mine.

**DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN**

I must admit, the boy fascinated me. I've always wanted to know how a Gryffindor mind ticks. See, because the sorting hat sorts you out because of the way you think. So it was not long before I found myself sitting next to Longbottom in my good robes, freezing my arse off, and smoking a wizard's cigarette.

I was thrown slightly off when he'd admitted it to me right then and there of his sexual orientation.

It was too easy…way too easy.

Why would a Gryffindor admit his imperfections to his sworn enemy? I Slytherin? Why did Longbottom confide in me? A Malfoy? That really topped off the reasons why he wouldn't tell me a thing.

Yet, there it was.

**DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN**

It was silent over the grounds for the most part.

Conveniently no body had 'noticed' my disappearance. Meaning my cronies were inside snickering about how I was going to play Longbottom like a violin.

The bet had spread through out Slytherin seventh year students. The big question was whether or not I could do it. Do what you ask? You'll find out all in good time. Some believed it would be quite easy for me to accomplish my goals. Other decided certain factors in the situation would make it impossible to succeed.

Such as the main issue. I was a Slytherin and he was a Gryffindor. Duh! Right? And his friends… And perhaps Neville had morals. Standards he'd set. Places he wouldn't allow himself to go.

Even though my personal opinion had been:

No body that lonely has morals.

They take what they can scrape up, even if it's week old chewing gum stuck to the bottom of a hobo's shoe. They take it and chew it up with a smile.

So I see it as Longbottom worshipped Saint Pot-Head just to belong. Even though he didn't and never would belong anywhere. He was alone even when he wasn't.

**A/N: Okay chapter two. Done! Review please. **


	3. Potions and Parchment Passing

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for the reviews people. They make me smile. And I'm still working on new chapters. Don't you hate writer's block? I do. So yes. Enjoy. Hope you like it. Tell me what you think by leaving me a review. Oh and also, if you're gay or lesbian this isn't meant to offend you. The name calling that is. I have nothing against people who are like that. So yes. It's just Malfoy's character.**

**My Personal Hell**

So. This bet proved harder to achieve then I would have anticipated. You see, after that night, it was extremely hard to get Longbottom's attention. He merely walked past me with his head down. I realized I'd have to take bigger measures.

"Ahh!" Longbottom grunted tumbling backwards and onto his arse. My cronies began to howl with cruel laughter and I smirked smugly.

"What the hell Longbottom!" I snapped. "Didn't you see me coming?"

"Yes… I thought you'd see me before I ran into you." Longbottom grumbled under his breath, reaching for a quill. I brought my foot down upon it, trapping it under my shiny expensive shoe. He stared down at the black feather sticking out from beneath my heel forlornly and sighed, leaning forward on his knees.

"I wasn't aware that you were even in the immediate vicinity," I drawled.

"Nobody ever is," he muttered staring down at my shoe.

I bent forward, snatching the quill out from under my foot, and studied it. I then tickled his nose with the mangled black feather and threw it down on the stone in front of him. Ink splattered out of the splintered stem.

"Next time, pay more attention to where you're going," I whispered, my breath hitting him in the face. I was aware that I smelled vaguely of cherry Jolly Ranchers. My favorite. "Got it?" I asked, gnashing my perfect white teeth together.

"Yes," Longbottom said, not looking me in the eye.

"Good," I replied. I then stood upright and knocked him back a bit. His arms flailed into the air, and landed to support his weight, before his back touched the ground. His elbows made a horrible cracking noise against the stone floor.

"Shit!" I thought. I wasn't supposed to be torturing the queer boy; I was supposed to be winning his trust.

"Fuckin…" I began, before leaning over him. "Sorry bout that," I murmured, holding out my hand.

He stared at me for a long time, first at my hand, then at my face. He seemed very unsure of himself, and quite slowly his hand rose into the air and reached out for mine. I was just about to pull him up when…

"Malfoy!" came that irritating, egotistical, hero voice. Potter. And they say my head is big…

Longbottom quickly let go of my hand and shifted away from me.

"What are you doing to Neville?" Weasel-B cried dramatically. Honestly, you'd think I was sexually assaulting the guy!

"Knocking him over," I snapped, before I turned to leave. I caught Longbottom's eye and winked before I began to walk away. I caught the sight of a puzzled expression crossing his features before Potter, Granger, and Weasley pounced on him.

"Are you alright Neville?" Granger asked soothingly, throwing imaginary darts at my back and helping Longbottom to his feet. Longbottom dusted off his robes, seaweed green oceans drowning every inch of me in an endless abyss that was Neville's sight.

"I'm okay," he said, his eyes never leaving my retreating figure.

"That git," Ron grumbled. "I swear! One day, someone's going to put him right."

"If it bother's you so much Ronald, then why don't you do it yourself and stop telling all of us about how bad Malfoy gets on your nerves?" Granger snapped, her arm still around Longbottom's broad shoulders protectively.

"I would-" Weasley began.

"But what Ronald?" Granger screeched.

We heard them screaming at each other behind us the whole way to Potions.

**DNDNDNDNDNDN**

"I wish they'd just shag and get it over with," I muttered to Longbottom that day. The only seat left when they'd finally arrived half a minute late was the one next to me, seeing as Potter, Granger, and Weasley had forgotten all about me bullying Longbottom, and went to their regular seats, leaving poor Neville to fend for himself.

Neville sat next to me shortly after double-checking the room to make sure that I was his only option.

Granger and Weasley were still at each other's throats behind us, making my comment completely appropriate. He showed no sign of hearing me, but when I looked closer, I spied a small smile on his lips. I felt a small jolt inside me. SUCCESS! I was getting in.

"They're like that all the time," he whispered.

The two of us never turned towards one another. This conversation was undetectable to Snape and every one else.

**DNDNDNDNDNDN**

I had Neville stirring the potion while I sat and wrote observations… Well I was kind of writing observations. I'm usually not one to slack off in my classes but I was today. Just for a bit. I folded a small piece of parchment and slipped it into my robe pocket. I then stood up to see what he was doing. The potion was a deep blue just as it was supposed to be and I nodded, appreciating my good instruction. Longbottom was beaming, seeing as he'd finally done something right.

"Good job Longbottom," I said with a swift nod in his direction. "Now add the rose pedals and stir it back and forth horizontally five times. Then take the ladle out vertically."

He set to work, his seaweed green eyes focused on the potion.

"That's it," I replied. "Good."

He pulled it out just as I said and set the ladle on the tabletop.

"Maybe we should give Malfoy more credit," Potter said from further off. "Neville hasn't messed up _anything_ yet."

"The only reason he hasn't is because Malfoy's a bossy no-it-all," Ron whispered. "Sort of like Hermione…"

Potter snickered.

"RON!" Hermione hissed elbowing him in the ribs.

"Ouch! What?" he cried.

"Look what you've done!" she screeched.

Snape came out of his office, his black robes billowing behind him.

Their potion had turned a sickly yellow tinge and was emitting red smoke.

"This is the result of poor instruction miss Granger," Snape sniffed.

I watched on as the mudblood turned bright red and averted her eyes from our beloved Professor.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," Professor S. added as he turned and left. After he was well out of earshot, Granger reached over and pinched the Weasel hard on his arm. Weasel cursed under his breath and shot darts at Hermione, seeing as hitting a girl would make him a twat.

"If I'm such a bossy no-it-all, Ronald, you should've waited for my instruction before trying to do it yourself," Granger growled in his ear, which was quickly reddening. From anger or embarrassment? It was hard to tell.

"Why? When you're only going to act like you're better than I am," Weasley snapped back.

"At least we would've gotten it right the first time," Granger retaliated. She began ripping some Whisker Root apart and measuring the right amount out.

The Weasel reached over to help her…

"Don't-touch-anything," she whispered, gritting her teeth together, as she slapped his hand away.

Potter laughed.

I sort of understand why he chose them to be his best friends. It was like a constant entertainment source. Like a good soap opera.

**DNDNDNDNDNDN**

It was not long before I was bottling a sample of our potion, Neville's and mine, and taking it to the front for Snape to grade. He took one look at it.

"I take it Longbottom was instructing?" he asked, smiling approvingly at me. "And he probably mucked it all up didn't he?"

"Actually, Longbottom made the potion and I instructed," I drawled. Snape raised one dark eyebrow at me, before staring at Longbottom, clearly intrigued.

"Well done," he replied.

Snape gave us full points for the sleeping draught.

It was time to leave.

**DNDNDNDNDNDN**

Neville hurried out of the classroom after Potter, Weasley, and Granger, all of which forgot to wait for him. I rolled my eyes and picked up the pace, catching up to him easily. He was slightly out of breath by the time I reached him.

"You know, you should stop smoking so much," I replied, bumping my shoulder into his, making him trip over himself. "You're winded," I added over my shoulder, before disappearing down a flight of steps that led to the hallway into the dungeons.

But what many people around us failed to see was that there had been a smooth transition between Longbottom and I. And clearly, it had taken Longbottom a moment to realize this as well. He lifted his hand and saw the small piece of torn parchment in his palm. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

Of course, students around him continued what they were doing unaware that he had a not from me clutched in between his index finger and his thumb.

"Of course," Neville thought bitterly. "But if it had been Harry that Malfoy had shoved, people would've come running." He snickered and sighed, his brow furrowing.

He unrolled the parchment and found my tidy slanted scroll on the inside.

_NL,_

_You should meet me after lights-out in the Astronomy tower._

_DM_

I had no idea what I was going to do if he actually came… At this point I was trying to gauge the effect I was having on him. If there was any at all. I know it takes time for someone to acquire a certain interest in another being…But hell, I was Draco Malfoy. If women fell hard fast, perhaps homosexual men did too. Besides, as I've said, Longbottom was a lonely, lost little boy. Why wouldn't he want a friend?

**A/N: All right. Third chapter. Hope you like it and tell me what you think and if you would like to see more of this story. **


	4. When Malfoy Comes AKnockin'

**My Personal Hell**

It was past twelve o'clock when Neville finally showed up. I was sitting, slouched in a cushiony black chair that smelled of age and dust. I figured it'd been there since kingdom come. When I heard him approaching, I sat up a little straighter and rubbed my eyes.

Damn the dust, I thought. I was allergic.

He stood in front of the closed wooden door, timidly peering at me in the dark. I could see him fiddling with his robes, a nervous habit I assumed.

"Longbottom," I nodded politely. He jumped at the sound of my voice as though he'd thought that my shadow had merely been a trick of the eye. Little did I know, he hadn't quite seen me yet, he'd been looking in my general direction, but I hadn't caught his eye. Perhaps he figured this was all a cruel joke on my part and all the Slytherins would be laughing at his stupidity in the morning. I leaned forward slightly, the moonlight catching my features, making them appear quite pale.

He looked around scanning the room with his green eyes. He then pulled out his wand and uttered, "Lumos," under his breath. Nothing happened and I stared at him slightly amused. He uttered the spell a few more times, flicking his wand and finally a weak beam of light took up the small radius around him, casting a dull shadow across the room. Barely bright enough to make out his robes. They were baggy around him and his shoulders slumped over, making him appear shorter than he really was.

"You really have that little faith in me do you?" I drawled, standing and drawing myself up to my full height. I kept forgetting that I wasn't here to intimidate him, but to win his trust, so I let my offensive stance leak out of me slowly to appear more…well…welcoming. God this was hard.

"What do you think?" he asked coldly.

"You really think I'm that bad?" I muttered, crossing my arms. "Well, we're just going to have to change that aren't we?"

We were both silent after that and it seemed to leak into the cracks in the old foundation and creep around us as silent as a stocker getting ready to strangle his prey.

"What do you want with me?" he whispered.

I looked up from his slumped shoulders to his face, my gray eyes dead of any emotions.

"I-" I began slowly. "I don't know…"

"That's what you called me up here for?" he asked with a derisive laugh that escaped him hollowly.

"You can leave if you'd like," I snapped. I didn't quite know why my reaction had been so defensive but I kept it up. Maybe playing poor, vulnerable, misunderstood Draco Malfoy would help my appeal.

"This is some sort of cruel joke," he announced after that. "Isn't it?" he asked. "Let's play ol' ugly Neville Longbottom! It'll be great fun because nobody's going to get pissed off about it! Nobody but Longbottom! And nobody will care what he fills because he's just…Neville! Toad boy freak!"

I found myself staring at him with my mouth slightly ajar, but I quickly closed it because looking like an idiot didn't suite me all that well.

"Yeah that would be your first thought wouldn't it?" I asked.

He stared at me, clutching his fists tightly at his sides.

"Fuck you Malfoy," he sneered quietly, as though he didn't have the guts to say it any louder than that. "I'm out of here."

But I found myself propelled forward and I grabbed him by his elbow, spun him around and shoved him against the wooden door. His back smacked against it with a creaking thump and he grunted, as our bodies collided, my warmth enveloping him.

"You'll leave when I say it's alright," I whispered in his ear. His skin smelled fresh, as though he'd had a shower right before he came to see me. My lips brushed his earlobe. "Understood?"

"But you told me I could leave if I'd like. And now I'd like to leave," he snapped, pressing against me trying to wiggle free. Unfortunately for poor Neville, he didn't play Quidditch or any other sport for that matter so it was near impossible. I just tightened my grasp on him and pushed him against the door a little more forcefully, my jaw twitching slightly with my effort to overpower him. He shrunk against the door, his eyes wide and I smiled an evil toothless grin.

"You know," I breathed. "I could do anything I wanted with you, right now. And nobody would hear you scream…whether it be pleasure or pain."

I chuckled, making him shiver.

"And you know what else?" I asked.

His seaweed green eyes met mine fearfully.

"I think you like being controlled," I said pressing myself against him again. "You need that sort of authority to feel…at peace with yourself. I could have you if I wanted."

He stared up at me boldly, his mouth drawn in a straight fierce line.

"Do your worst Malfoy," he said. I smirked at him.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I asked, glaring at him slightly. I released him from my grip and moved back and away from him.

"You can leave now," I said with a dismissive flick of my hand. He stared at me for a long while before turning to leave.

"And Longbottom?" I muttered. He turned slightly, but not enough to see me. He didn't say anything but waited for me to speak.

"We're not through," I said firmly. "Just remember that."

"We're not anything Malfoy," he said stubbornly.

"You would think that wouldn't you?" I whispered, drawing near to him again. "But you forget one very important detail…"

"And what's that?" he asked, turning so I could see him glaring at me in the darkness.

"I'm a Malfoy," I said casually, twirling my wand between my fingers. "And us Malfoys always get what we want…"

"So I've heard for the last seven years," he snapped.

"And have I been proved wrong yet?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

He was silent for a long while and then he turned his full body towards me, his pride emanating off of him like a foul odor.

"Look, I don't know what you're playing at Malfoy," he said, his voice rising. "But God! Why the fuck is it always me?" he finally shrieked in my face. "Why does it always have to be me with you? Why can't you fuck with somebody else, like Harry or Hermione or something? I never did anything to you…I never did shit!"

"Well you have very little loyalty towards your so called _friends_," I murmured. "You should've been in Slytherin…"

"I was…" he said almost absent mindedly. "But that was for all of two seconds seeing as my Gran had made sure I would convince the hat to put me in Gryffindor…"

"So that's why it took you so long to get sorted… I thought we'd never get to eat," I muttered.

We both snapped that we were getting off subject and blinked at each other, reorganizing our thoughts for our battle ahead.

"Just…leave me alone," he pleaded.

"No," I said rather bluntly. "No. I don't think I will."

I then pushed past him.

"I'm going to bed Longbottom," I called over my shoulder. "But expect to be seeing me in the very near future."

He opened his mouth to say something but I hopped down the staircase below the tower two steps at a time and then turned the corner.

What I didn't know was that he was looking forward to the very near future. Whether it be against his will or not…

**A/N: Okay. Here you go. Sorry it took so long. Busy is all. I'll love you forever if you review it and I'll write more for you soon:D Thank you to those of you who did. Kisses and hugs!**


	5. How Things Come About

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Even though there aren't many I'm still happy to have the ones I do. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Review and tell me what you think. Love to all. :D **

**My Personal Hell**

"_I cared about you!" Neville hissed at me. "I loved you!" _

"_Look," I snapped at him, scowling. "I don't know what to tell you! Yes, it's unfortunate for you but I'm not gay!" _

"_But you kissed me," he whispered. "You told me you-"_

"_Yes, I did tell you those things. And I did do that with you but you don't understand how much money I was in for with this!" I said with my hands out. "I let you drag me down here so we could talk, but it's done with Longbottom. Move on!"_

"_I can't… Don't do this, Draco," he pleaded. I turned away from him. _

Yes. I remember that night well. The tears that fell from Neville Longbottom's eyes as he stared at me in the dark. All I could think of is how much of a mistake that bet was. I should've never gotten involved in it. Then came the flash of red light that hit me square in the chest…and the nothing that enveloped me soon after.

"_I loved you!" _

Those words still chill me.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN 

I floated down the corridors of Hogwarts, letting the slight draft take me where it would.

"OOOOOOH MALFOY!!!!" Peeves called from somewhere ahead of me. I tried to change direction. For some reason ghosts could sense me. I wasn't fast enough and Peeves flew right through my little cloud self, spreading me in all directions of the hallway. "I know you're here Malfoy. Talk."

"Leave me alone you git," I snapped as I tried to pull myself together again. In quite a literal sense. Just as I was regaining my composure he zoomed into my center and began spinning around faster and faster like a rogue top. He cackled and zoomed away down the hall, singing.

"Yes me and my buddies are getting along real well! We're sad and we're bad and we get on real swell!"

If I still had eyes, I would've rolled them. I heard somebody coming and I floated around to face the other end of the passage. Hermione Granger came into view and she was holding a huge book in her hands. She suddenly halted right in her steps and looked around. I froze, almost afraid that she would see me. I watched as she shivered and brought her robes closer around her body.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDN 

"I swear Harry!" she said later on to her best mate. "I felt him. Isn't that the oddest thing?"

"Well I suppose he'll always be here," Harry replied staring around at the decorated walls of the Gryffindor Common Room. "He was as much a part of this school as we are."

I always hated hearing that. He _was_ this. He _was_ that.

"I still think it's odd that he's gone forever," Ron murmured. "I mean, he was the lousiest bloke I knew but it still isn't the same."

"He wasn't all bad," Harry murmured thoughtfully. "He was just raised bad."

I felt anger pulse through me.

He _wasn't_.

This _wasn't_ fair.

"There it is again," Hermione whispered. Only this time she looked right up at me. Potter and Weasel followed suit and after a moment they both shook their heads.

"You should stop thinking about it so much," Ron replied. "Dead or not. Malfoy was a bloody prat. He never respected us so why should we mourn for him?"

"Don't you find it a bit… well… _off_? The way that he died I mean… It just wasn't right," Hermione said glaring at Ron. "I wouldn't wish death on anybody. No matter how insufferable they were. I hate to admit it but Malfoy was just as much a part of my life as you are."

Harry and Ron both looked at her, their eyes wide with shock. I found myself inching closer to the Golden Trio. Purely out of curiosity, I assure you, but yes.

"What do you mean?" Weasel-B asked.

"I guess I sort of miss fighting with him and making him miserable. He used to hunt us down just so he could throw a good insult at one of us. Don't you remember? As soon as he'd think of one, he would run up behind us out of breath and then he would bellow it at the top of his lungs so everybody in the immediate vicinity would turn around and watch."

I snorted. I did do that on occasion…

"And we would engage him every time," she muttered. Weasley rolled his eyes at her.

"And you _miss_ that?" he asked.

I floated above them for a little while longer. But after a few minutes of listening to them talk, a deep sadness set in to me. I would never harass Potter and his friends again. I would never kiss another attractive young woman or eat any of my favorite foods. Eventually I left. I knew Longbottom was only a little ways away but I didn't want to see him.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN 

On the night that my body was discovered, Snape carried me into the Great Hall. His robes, as well as mine were soaking wet. He fell to his knees with me in his arms and he was crying.

"Albus!" he bellowed. "I've found Draco Malfoy!"

I remembered floating right above my body watching all of this in a dull state of shock. I recalled seeing Granger cover her mouth in pure horror as she spun around burying her face in Potter's shoulder. Weasley had gone very pale and dropped his dinner roll, but I was focusing on Neville. He looked up when he heard the hush that fell over the hall as Albus stood from the teacher's table. People were craning their necks to get a better look at me. I could hear a lot of sobbing.

I had never been well liked at Hogwarts. I knew that. People in all four houses disliked me, so you could imagine my surprise to see that so many of them were crying. And somehow I knew they weren't tears of joy.

"Oh my God!"

I heard that uttered over and over again from all directions and I suddenly wished that Snape would take my body off of display. Dumbledore had appeared in front of me as well as McGonagall and Hagrid, who bent and took me from Snape.

"Be careful with me," I muttered. Hagrid cradled me just as he had in third year when I was attacked by his Hippogriff.

"Is he dead Professor?" someone yelled from one of the tables. Hagrid turned around, revealing me to my school again. And that's when I'd seen that Neville had fainted and was lying on the floor. The students were ignoring him, still too entranced by me. I could see many places where my pale flesh was broken from animal bites and such. My lips were blue and my eyes were partly open.

Yup. I'd say I was pretty dead.

"I don't know kids," Hagrid murmured.

He knew.

And that's when they took me from the Great Hall. I followed them all the way up to the hospital wing. I'd gone missing quite unexpectedly and when I didn't show up again right away the teachers began to expect the worst. It turns out that their worst wasn't even as bad as what really happened. They thought my father had taken me away for some sort of illegal event or something like that. But the truth was, my dad hadn't even let me get the Dark mark yet. So I wouldn't be attending any Death Eater meetings either.

They laid me down on a hospital wing cot and Dumbledore sat down next to me. He grasped my left hand and brought my tattered sleeve up to find my wrist bare, save for a few scratches. My skin was bruised and unhealing. He shook his head sadly.

"Is he?" McGonagall asked even though she knew. They all knew.

"Yes," Dumbledore murmured. He stood up gravely. "Notify Mr. Malfoy's parents and have Madam Pomfrey find the cause of death." And with that, Dumbledore left the room. I floated down towards my body and settled into my shell again. I could feel my lungs full of cold icy water from the river and when I tried to move my limbs, my soul only floated up towards the ceiling again. And with that I began to scream. I screamed and screamed and screamed. And quite suddenly the window in the hospital wing shattered making the remaining teachers cry out and cover their faces to shield themselves. I felt better.

"I believer Mr. Malfoy is in the room," McGonagall muttered to Snape and Hagrid. "And he's not happy."

"Would you be?" Snape snapped at her. He then looked around the hospital wing as though expecting to find me hovering in a dark corner and when he concluded that the room was indeed Malfoy ghost free, he turned to leave. I watched as he turned around again. "Perhaps we should consider foul play," he drawled in his silky sour tone. "When spirits cry out in anger it means they weren't ready to die. That often indicates murder."

"Yes," I whispered. "That's right. Put it together my man."

"We won't know until Madam Pomfrey examines his remains," McGonagall muttered. "Let's not jump to conclusions, Professor."

"My _remains_?" I yelled. "You stupid old hag."

McGonagall shivered.

"I'm going back down to the Great Hall," she murmured. "Good evening Severus."

With one last sad look at my pale rigid form, Hagrid followed her out.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN 

Back to the story at hand! So I left Neville in the Astronomy Tower that night, alone and confused. He had no idea what so ever of how he should think of me. He watched me go, his head cocked down just a bit, staring at me from under the hair that fell over his eyes. His hands were buried deep in his pockets, and his feet were slightly parted, his shoulders slouched as they always were.

"I guess I'll be seeing you then," he whispered, referring back to the conversation we'd just had. A small smirk stretched across his lips and he slowly cocked his head to the side, rolling it around his shoulders. Loud cracks from his neck could be heard audibly through out the tower. He sat for a little while longer next to the window and finally, after waiting for about ten minutes, he wandered back downstairs to the Gryffindor Common Room.

When he entered he found Hermione sitting, still working on her homework.

"Two weeks ahead I assume?" Neville asked her as he walked by.

"What are you doing in so late?" Hermione muttered, looking up from her textbook. "It's an hour past curfew."

"I went for a walk," Neville said a tad bit darkly. My sharp features were still very clear in his mind. My icy gray eyes peering at him in the dark, alive with the moonlight. Hermione gave him a puzzled look.

"Where?" she asked suspiciously.

"Around the corridors," Neville murmured.

"Right," Hermione said returning her attention to her books rolling her eyes. "Because that's believable. Why are you so twitchy?"

"What's with all of these nosy questions?" he asked her. She glared up at him.

"When you lie, Neville, you twitch. You're rubbish at hiding things," she replied writing something down. She then shut her book and stood. "Well, I'm off to bed. I'm done finally." Neville watched as she walked towards the stairs that led up to the girls' dormitory. "And Neville," she began, turning to face him. He stared at her with his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"What?" he asked after a moment's pause.

"Don't get yourself into trouble," Hermione said.

"I never do," Neville murmured absentmindedly. Why were girls so confusing? It was no wonder why he didn't like them. Draco Malfoy's face came into his mind again.

"We're not _anything_," Neville repeated to himself. "Anything at all."

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN 

"So?" Blaise murmured from his bed as I came into the room. I jumped at the sound of his voice and clicked on my bedside lamp.

"You scared the magic out of me!" I hissed.

"_Magic_, Draco?" Blaise asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Yes. I've been trying not to curse so much," I replied. "What of it?"

"What of _Neville_?" Blaise asked. At this, suddenly Crabbe and Goyle were sitting up too.

"What _of_ Neville?" I inquired.

"Did you get in there yet?" Goyle asked. I turned to look at him, my face stricken with terror.

"Get in _what_?" I asked revolted.

"Nope, he didn't get in there," Crabbe said.

"Not even close I bet," Blaise remarked. And all three boys rolled over, and left me standing there cringing at the mental images I was now getting. When I'd recovered slightly I picked up my shoe and threw it at Blaise's head.

"What the hell, Draco?" he asked. Crabbe and Goyle were sitting up in bed again.

"For your information, I could've gotten in there _tonight_," I said quietly smirking at him.

"So why didn't you then?" he asked, now interested, his arms tucked behind his head.

"Because if I drag it out a bit longer, the bets will double. They'll start betting more on the fact that I may not be able to do it. I already know that I can. If I hold out, you'll all be in for a pretty penny. And so will I," I drawled, examining my nails.

"Why will they double their bets?" Goyle asked. I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes.

"Because Goyle, the longer it takes me to lay him, the more confident the guys will get that I'm not ever going to get with him. This bet is about the fact that I can get anybody in bed with me. Some people don't think so. And I took the bet to prove them wrong," I muttered.

"Have you thought of what this will do to your reputation?" Blaise asked.

"People may think I'm flying high on the gay side for a while, but only the smart ones will know it's not true," I muttered. "Yes, I've thought of everything."

"What of your father?" Blaise asked cockily. My eyes widened. He chuckled. "I guess you haven't thought of everything yet, have you?"

"Shut up," I muttered, undoing my tie.

Nope. Hadn't thought of that…

**A/N: Hey. Thanks for reading. Review if you want more. :D **


	6. Inside of Neville

**My Personal Hell**

So after my little discussion with my housemates I stayed away from Neville for a few days. What the bloody hell had I been thinking? I hadn't even considered my father being a factor in this little escapade. It was ridiculous.

"It's a stupid, stupid idea!" I snapped to myself in the shower that morning. I kept my hands firmly planted on the wall in front of me glaring as the hot water coursed down my body. "Get yourself out now Draco, while you can! Who gives a shit if people don't think you're a sex God any more? Only the lucky ones will know!"

Yes. I had to back out. My father could NOT hear that I was gay. He would come to Hogwarts straight away and flog me. I rinsed my hair out and hurriedly dried myself off, set on my purpose.

I hurried down the steps, still wrapped in my towel, and found Blaise and the others sitting on the leather couches playing cards.

"I'm not going to do it," I yelled. The group of my housemates froze and looked up from their game of poker.

"Do what?" Blaise asked.

"Longbottom," I said simply. "Fuck it. I'm out. How much do I owe people?"

Blaise stood and approached me. "Draco have you really thought this through? Come on mate! What the hell are you screwing us all over for? Just get in and get out. Don't worry about how much money we'll be in for. The bets have doubled over just a few days! What are you worried about?"

"Gosh I don't know Zabini!" I snapped. "My father maybe? What if he gets word that I'm doing pillow biters now?"

Blaise stood staring at me with his mouth ajar. It was then that the whole room erupted in laughter. To my left and to my right I was being mocked.

"Draco we know you're not gay!" Blaise said. "And the only way your father would find out is if one of us told our fathers or told Lucius ourselves! We're not going to do that to you! It's a bet! I was just saying that the other night to give you shit. I didn't think it would actually get to you!"

I stared around at my friends who were all grinning at me.

"How much are we in for?" I asked. Blaise smirked slyly at me.

"A lot," he said slowly.

"Yes, but how much is a lot?" I asked him.

"We're up to about three hundred right now. What do you think about that Malfoy?" he asked.

"That's like a hundred a day," I murmured more to myself then to the others.

"And isn't that just orgasmic?" Blaise asked clapping me on the shoulder. "And more people are getting in on it as we speak probably."

"We're going to be rich!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air. And it was then that my towel dropped to the floor around my feet. Suddenly the room erupted in noisy protest to my now nude bum being exposed to the room. "We're going to be bloody rich!" I bellowed once more before turning towards the boys' dormitories and running up the stairs to get dressed.

"God he's an odd one," Crabbe murmured sitting back down to continue the poker game. It was soon that the other Slytherin boys did the same.

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So I'm thinking that Longbottom was probably starting to freak out seeing as it had been a long while since I'd talked to him. Why wouldn't he be freaking out? He'd had the good fortune of becoming _my_ favorite person. Every time I thought about what I'd have to do with him though, I gagged. I don't know why. I just did. I'd never ever even considered what it'd be like to do somebody in their bum. Now that I thought about it though it would probably be very painful for both of us at the beginning.

I shuddered as I walked into the Great Hall immediately scanning it for my soon to be lover. Again, my skin crawled. I would have to do something with his physical appearance before I would even go there. He wasn't a girl. He didn't use all those feminine products to insure his skin was soft and that he smelled good. Although he did use a rather strong cologne that made my head hurt…

Any way. So I found him sitting by himself at the end of the Gryffindor table and I walked over plopping down. I didn't really care that I was being thrown death glares left and right. My God! I wasn't in my designated section! Somebody call the police! Ha!

"Hello Longbottom," I said with a sly grin. He looked up from his plate and sighed.

"What can I do for you Malfoy?" he muttered. I glanced over to the teachers' table and found they were all staring over at us with slight concern. As was the Golden Trio and the whole damn Great Hall. What did they think I was going to do to the poor bloke? Sprout claws and rip his head off? That looked doubtful to me but to everybody else, well I guess you get my meaning.

"Well I told you you'd be seeing a lot more of me," I replied quietly so that nobody could overhear what I was telling him. "You know, I just haven't been able to get you out of my head these past few days. I don't really understand why you haven't given me the time of day."

Wow… That was rich. Talk about pulling total bull shit out of my arse. He didn't seem to be buying it either.

"Really? You haven't looked my way at all these past couple of days," Neville murmured to me. He'd taken my quiet tone and adopted it, looking around. "What do you want from me?"

"Well…I wish you would take me seriously Longbottom. It's about time that somebody in this school has the same…interests as me. You know? It's hard," I said smiling at him. He gazed at me and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"Really Malfoy? What the bloody hell are you playing at? I'm not an idiot. Even if you were gay, you wouldn't be interested in somebody like me. I could see your type being more like…Zabini over there…or Potter. Or-"

"Now stop right there Longbottom," I said firmly. "Potter? Really?"

"Well…you two both have this horrible thing where you have to be the center of attention. Together you two would be like…Dynamite or something. You know? The hottest gay couple in wizard history. You and Zabini would be good together because you're both just so…ridiculously handsome. And you'd probably set a gay trend in which all the gay wizards in this school would start coming out just because of how hot you two are together. You know? But that's only if you were gay Malfoy. Which I highly doubt that you are. And if you were I think you would actually have a chance with Zabini. I just get a vibe off of him…But I've heard stories about you that have made even me blush, and not one of them included a guy," Neville finished and returned to his breakfast.

"Maybe I'm not gay," I said thoughtfully after a moment.

"It's about time you cut the shit," Longbottom said.

"But I know that I've been watching you for some time and I just…don't know… I've always had these feelings that I know just aren't well…normal I guess. I just can't hide them any more Longbottom. Have you ever wanted something you know you shouldn't go after but you're helpless to stop?" I asked.

Neville's eyes met mine and I moved my foot across the floor until my boot touched his shoe and I nudged him. He smirked at me for a moment before kicking me in my shin. He didn't do it rough but playfully.

"Besides…If I'm as handsome as you say I am then you'd think you would take the opportunity and run with it. Take me Longbottom. We don't have to tell anybody if you don't want. It could just be you and me," I said.

God this was weird. I was flirting with somebody of the male species! I wasn't used to this sort of thing. I guess it was as simple as telling him what I'd like to hear come out of a female's mouth. Stuff that I would like a girl to tell me before getting down to business. We were in the courtship part of the 'relationship.' I had to flatter him before I was going to get anywhere with this bet.

"I don't know," Longbottom said. "Why should I trust you? After the other night?"

"What did I do to you the other night that was really that bad?" I asked. "Has anyone come up to you laughing and calling you an idiot for falling for my shit?"

"Well…no," Longbottom said slowly.

"Exactly. That little meeting was between you and me and that's it. Why the hell would I want to humiliate somebody I'm trying to get in with? I need a change Neville. Spend the day with me. What do you think?" I asked.

"I think you're crazy and I'm really starting to get a little worried that you're not going to stand up and laugh in my face and tell me where all the cameras are hidden. Or something to that affect," Neville said leaning back from the table a bit.

"Why would that be such a bad thing? If that didn't happen I mean," I added staring at him through my cold gray eyes.

I was beginning to think this would never happen. He wasn't giving in and by the looks of it he didn't really want to. Why? I, Draco Malfoy didn't know. Only Longbottom knew that…and God maybe… but anyway.

"Why me Malfoy?" Longbottom asked after a few minutes. "You could have any gay or sexually confused guy in this school. Why go after the toad boy? The one that everyone avoids because he's so odd. Why would you want that?"

"Honestly?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Because it makes you more down to earth. It makes you more appealing because one, you've made me work for you, and two, the work makes it more rewarding… You aren't just an easy lay. It would make any sort of relationship you and I have together more meaningful," I said.

That was a good deep answer if I do say so myself. And it must have impressed Longbottom as well because he smiled at me and got to his feet.

"What did you have in mind Malfoy?" he asked. I looked over at Blaise and flashed him a humongous triumphant toothy grin. I raised my eyebrows up and down quickly and then returned my attention to Neville who was grabbing his belongings.

"I don't know. Let's just see where the day takes us," I drawled. I stood and glanced over at Potter and his two best mates. They were staring at us in disbelief. Neville turned his attention to where my gaze was focused and he rolled his eyes.

"Potions guys," he yelled at the three of them. "My partner remember?" he asked motioning towards me. Potter and Weasley glared at me whereas Granger just looked worried.

I waved at them giving them my award-winning smile.

"We've got a lot of work to do," I added as an afterthought. I took that opportunity to run my hand across Neville's arse and he stood up very straight and blushed furiously. I chuckled evilly behind him, my breath on the back of his neck. Blaise suddenly burst out laughing, covering his mouth with his napkin to muffle the noise. My friends turned and looked at me very confused.

I shook my head and put a finger to my lips and Blaise nodded.

"Is everything alright Longbottom?" I asked. He nodded quickly.

"We should get going then," he replied clearing his throat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I remember that day well. It was the beginning of Longbottom's and my 'relationship.' Relationship… God that's still an odd thought. I don't know if I want to call it that but at the same time there's not really any other name for it. I'd been spending a lot of time floating around in the Gryffindor common room these days.

All was quiet right now. It was late and I was resting just above the couch listening to the light popping sounds of the dying embers in the fireplace. I was here partly because I was hiding from Peeves and partly because I felt like I needed to be in this place. Some unknown force beyond myself was telling me that there was something that I needed to be doing here amongst the Gryffindors… There was something I wasn't seeing.

Sometimes late at night I found I floated up here with no control over myself what so ever. As though I were being pulled to Him… I doubt the bastard even felt guilty…

It was then that I heard footsteps coming from the boys' dormitories and suddenly Neville came into view. He slouched into the common room and sat down right directly below me. I felt anger flood my little cloud self as I stared down at him.

"You," I growled. He froze and looked around.

"Who's there?" he asked startled. He pulled out is wand. I fell silent just watching him and waiting. "That's odd…" He whispered, "I thought I just heard you Draco…"

It was then that I saw Hermione Granger at the top of the steps near the girls' dormitories. If I still had eyes they would have narrowed. What was she doing skulking about up there?

"I think about you all the time," Neville went on. "It was an accident Draco. I don't know how it happened… That's the first time something like that has ever happened to me."

"You ruined me you prick!" I hissed in his ears. His arms broke out in goose bumps and he stood up quite suddenly looking all over the common room.

"Where are you Draco?" he yelled. I saw Granger start and move a bit closer.

"Keep it down," I snapped. "You can hear me?"

"Yes!" Neville said. He dropped to his knees, his legs shaking visibly. "Oh Draco, it was an accident! I never meant for any of it to happen! I was just so angry! And I didn't even think that stupid curse would work! Nothing I ever attempt to do with a wand works!"

"I should kill you Longbottom!" I snarled. Neville brought his hands up to his face.

"No! Please Draco! I've been reading!" he squeaked up at me.

"Reading? What the hell do I care about reading? Will it bring me back to life? No! I don't think so Neville! You know what you took from me you arse? Everything! I have nothing left!" I screeched. Suddenly things began to vibrate and shatter around him such as the small glass orbs that floated around the ceiling for decoration and a few butterbeer bottles that had been left sitting on the side tables.

"Stop Draco!" Neville said covering his ears. "Please!"

For some odd reason the sight of him cowering below me made the anger melt away. I had had a soft spot for him when we were…er…together. I don't know what it was. The way he hung on my every word…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were laying on the floor in the Slytherin common room.

"It's not as creepy in here as I thought it would be," Neville murmured. I rolled onto my side and smiled at him.

"Did you think we all lived down here in the dark hanging from the ceiling by our clawed feet, only leaving to feed on the blood of the innocent by the light of the moon?" I asked. I chuckled.

"That's what everybody thinks about the Slytherin House," Neville muttered. "Maybe not that exactly. We think all sorts of weird things go on down here. But it turns out you're just as normal as the Gryffindors."

"We're just people Longbottom," I murmured scooting a little closer to him. "Maybe slightly snootier than the rest of the school but not different. We're like a family just like any other house."

Blaise Zabini came through the entrance hole and stopped dead, staring at Longbottom and me splayed out in front of the fireplace.

"Sorry for interrupting," he muttered quickly before going up the steps. When he got to the top we heard him laugh. "You dog, Malfoy!" he called down the corridor. I rolled my eyes.

"He knows?" Neville asked slightly confused.

"He knows I'm bisexual, he knows you're gay… He put two and two together that we're-"

"Just friends," Neville said propping himself up on his elbow. "That's all we are… if even that… I mean we just barely started hanging out Malfoy… The idea of you and me just-"

"Don't worry Longbottom. What ever you want. It's fine," I said placing my hand on his arm. "There's no rush. We've got all the time in the world to decide where we stand. No pressure."

Neville smiled at me as he began to relax again.

"Yeah. Alright," he said shyly. "All the time in the world…"

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I whizzed around the Gryffindor common room over and over again. I could see the draft I was creating ruffling Neville's hair as he sat silently on the floor.

"Draco?" he asked uncertainly. He had to of known I was still there. I was creating quite a breeze.

"Hmmm?" I asked stopping in mid air.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked. He'd asked me that all the time when we were _together_… I laughed malevolently.

"I'm wondering if there's any way at all I can get out of this situation, Neville. I've been wondering this whole time why I'm stuck here like this. And you're going to help me find a way out of it," I growled threateningly. "Got it? You owe me this."

"I've been reading Draco," Neville said again. "I don't know if we can help you. But I know somebody who would probably know for sure…"

"Let me guess. Granger?" I asked.

"Oh my God!" we heard a startled yell come from the top of the steps and then a series of thumps as Granger fell clumsily into view.

"Hermione!" Neville said, his eyes wide with panic. She got to her feet slowly as I snickered.

"Now _that_ was funny," I said happily.

"Neville," Hermione began slowly. "Who have you been talking to?"

"As if she doesn't know Neville," I said whizzing around his body in a snake-like manner. "She's been standing up there the whole time."

"And you didn't say anything?" Neville spat at me.

"Hey. You don't get to be pissed off Longbottom! Not unless I throw you out of a window. Which I might," I added for good measure.

"Neville?" Hermione asked.

"I was just talking to myself," Neville said. Granger looked right at me and glared.

"I can feel you Malfoy," Hermione said, putting her hands on her hips. "At first I thought it was just me but now I'm not so sure…"

"Can you help me Granger?" I asked. I then whizzed around her and she shivered.

"He _is_ here!" she whispered. "Neville, what the bloody hell is going on?"

"He wants to know if you can help him," Neville stammered.

"Help him with what?" Hermione asked uncertainly.

"Save me from the light!" I said. "Ask her if there's any way to bring me back! Tell her everything Neville or so help me God I'll…" But words didn't describe what I was feeling so I just flew at him at full speed, making Granger's hair fly around her face in a whirlwind of my essence. I was going to fly through him and give him that creepy crawly cold feeling that you get any time you run into a ghost. But when I made contact I just seeped into him and got stuck there…

Neville suddenly went very pale and fell backwards, his hands waving about as though he were trying to use his arms as wings to catch himself. I felt very heavy and out of touch with myself.

"What the hell?" I murmured. I heard my voice… But what was strange is it didn't echo into nothing. It came out of a mouth…I opened my eyes… Wait! Eyes?

Granger was standing over me looking very worried.

"Neville… Are you alright?" she asked.

"Neville? What the hell Granger?" I asked. Her eyes widened.

"Malfoy?" she asked.

"The one and only," I began. "Why is it that suddenly everyone can hear me talking? When before I could scream and nobody would take notice until something would break…"

"Malfoy…stand up," Hermione instructed.

"Ha, ha!" I laughed derisively. "That's very funny Granger. Mock me because I don't have legs."

"Malfoy you idiot," she snapped. She then grabbed my hand… My hand? Yes… My hand. And helped me to my feet.

"Bloody hell," I whispered in disbelief.

"Malfoy," Hermione began slowly. "What have you done with Neville?"

**A/N: Okay. Newest chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for your wonderful reviews. Tell me what you think about this chapter. It's sort of frustrating because I know people are reading my stories because they'll add them to their favorites or they'll put them on an alert list but they won't review. I 3 reviews. And I'll always update quicker depending on the amount of reviews I get. Especially now that I have a new computer and can write whenever I want. Love you all. REVIEW PLEASE!**


	7. Memories

**A/N: Hey thanks for the reviews. I'm glad you guys liked it. Here's the new chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. Review if you want more. :)**

**My Personal Hell**

I stood pulling vacantly at Neville's pajamas, staring down at his bare feet… His bare feet, which I now inhabited. What the hell was going on?

"Malfoy?" Hermione said uncertainly.

"What Granger? What?!" I snapped suddenly very irritated due to my bewilderment. The mudblood fell silent and stared at me wide eyed.

"Your eyes," she murmured moving closer to Neville and me. "He's got your eyes…and your voice."

I brought Neville's hand up to his head and ran my fingers through his slightly greasy hair compulsively. I sighed.

"Well this does complicate things a bit. There's some very odd magic at work here isn't there?" I muttered sitting down on the couch. I felt cold… For the first time in a long while I felt a slight chill in the air.

"He's used a curse with rules," Hermione whispered, dawning realization gracing her soft features. "Rules that he's cleary broken…"

"What are you rambling on about now?" I snapped.

"You're cursed Malfoy…you're not dead," Hermione said quietly. "That means that your body, wherever it is, is intact…"

I stared at her extremely taken aback. I didn't know what to think or believe or to feel…

"What if my parents burned my remains?" I asked.

"They wouldn't have burned," Granger said quietly. "_Wait right there_ Malfoy. Right _there_! Don't move!"

"Really Granger. Where am I going to go?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

I watched as Granger ran up the stairs and disappeared into the girls' dormitories. I stared down at Neville's hands, which had begun to shake with my adrenaline. My mind was racing. What did this mean? This whole time I'd been so afraid I'd be spending eternity watching everybody else live their lives. I hated the idea of that so much that I just didn't want to exist any longer. It was a fate worse than death.

I suddenly felt quite a bit of pressure as though something was pushing at me. In all honesty I felt very cramped sharing a body with Neville. At least I thought he was still in with me.

"Are you still in there Longbottom?" I asked. Again that pressure came and I realized that he was pushing me out. And with a soft tearing sensation I floated up towards the ceiling again. Neville began gasping for air, his face very sweaty, and his hand against his chest.

I honestly can say that I felt better being free again but at the same time it reminded me of all I hadn't felt in a long time. Like the urge to urinate. I found that interesting to experience.

Granger came running down the steps with a large book in her hands.

"Malfoy-" she began.

"He's gone again," Neville murmured. "I don't know what happened. One second he was in me and I was in this really dark place. I could hear everything that was going on but I couldn't say or do anything…"

"Is he gone completely?" Hermione asked. Neville shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe," he replied. I remained silent, hovering just above them waiting to see what was going to happen.

"How much did you hear Hermione?" Neville asked, his tone low and dark. I crept closer wondering if Mr. Longbottom was going to get violent with the mudblood… Perhaps like he got violent with me.

"Enough," Hermione muttered sitting down next to him. "What happened that night Neville?"

"Don't sit next to him! He's a murderer!" I thought frantically. If he went to hurt her, maybe I could stop him. He seemed like he was still trying to cover his tracks and if Hermione knew too much he might send her to the same place he sent me. And honestly at this point I believed she was my last hope.

"A lot happened that night," Neville murmured.

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"Not so hard," Neville murmured, his hands on Draco's waist. Draco chuckled into the nape of his neck and began nibbling lightly instead of gnawing on his partner. Neville let out a soft laugh as Draco's lips trailed over his jaw. This wasn't the first time they'd done this. He enjoyed it more each time. Draco's hands trailed up Neville's torso to his neck and then he grasped the boy's jaw in his pale hand and kissed him roughly, pressing his crotch against Neville, putting a considerable amount of pressure on him.

"Why don't we um…" Draco began, his hands still roaming over Neville's body. They trailed down his body to the space between Neville's legs and he gasped at the contact.

"Again?" Neville asked smiling shyly up at Malfoy.

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"Wait a second," Hermione said quickly. "You two were-"

"Together," Neville nodded, confirming her suspicions. "We were for months."

If Iweren't trying to be so quiet I would've groaned loudly. Of course this wasn't a lie but I wasn't comfortable letting Granger into my personal life.

"I'd heard some rumors about," Hermione muttered dumbfounded. "But I'd never actually believed it was true! I mean you and Malfoy? That's just-"

"So crazy it couldn't have possibly been true?" Neville asked. Hermione looked at him apologetically.

"Yeah…Why would somebody like him want me anyway?" Neville sighed. "Who could possibly find _this_ attractive? It turned out the whole thing was just a stupid bet."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"Oh Neville," she whispered. "Oh that's awful!"

"No. That's Draco. What's awful is that I actually fell for it. I actually thought that he truly could care for me. How ridiculous is that?" Neville chuckled and cleared his throat. "Rumor had it though, he was only supposed to have sex with me once. Then that would prove that he could get anyone he wanted in bed with him. And then the bet was up and the Slytherins were all in for a pretty penny. But he didn't give me up after just one time… I let him have me the second month we were together…"

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The two boys were lying on the floor of the Slytherin common room. This was the place where they were seen the most together. That or in Draco's dorm. It was after curfew and all was quiet around them. The two were in comfortable silence. They hadn't spoken much that week and Neville had really truly missed the Slytherin Prince. Neville rolled onto his side a little peeved.

"Why haven't you talked to me lately?" he asked.

"I have," Malfoy said opening his gray eyes to meet Neville's calculating gaze.

"When?" Neville inquired getting slightly agitated.

"In potions," Draco murmured. "And yesterday in the Great Hall. I told you hello."

"No you said, 'Hey! Longbottom! Have you snogged any toads lately?'" Neville glared at his tall blonde. "And in potions you barked orders at me for an hour and a half and then you left me stuck with the mess at the end of class."

"Well I can't make this obvious now can I?" Draco asked motioning from himself to Neville. "What on earth would people think?"

"Why do you care?" Neville asked. "You've never cared before."

"It's because before, it wasn't something that could ruin my reputation. If this gets out it could potentially be the death of me. Especially if my father hears about it from somewhere," Draco said. He took Neville's hand. "This could be a tad bit difficult to pull off. You still want me?"

Neville stared indignantly at the flames.

"Well?" Draco asked in his demanding Malfoy tone. Neville tightened his lips into a tight line and glared at the blonde. Was this actually happening? Were they having their first fight?

"I don't know," Neville said. He pulled his hand out of Draco's grasp and rolled onto his back sighing heavily. Draco groaned and scooted closer to Neville.

"Don't be like that," he said softly. Neville refused to look at him. "Hey…" Draco leaned forward and took Neville's face in his. "It's not going to be easy. But if you think it's worth it we'll try. But I won't always be able to be around."

"Is it because you're ashamed of me?" Neville snapped.

"No. It's just that it's bad enough you're a Gryffindor. What really tops it off is that you're a _male_ Gryffindor. It would be different if I were shagging a girl…"

"We haven't shagged yet," Neville murmured.

"Yes. And if I do say so for myself it's really starting to take its toll on me…and I… Wait. Yet?" Draco smirked down at Neville. "Oh so that means you plan on letting me?"

Neville could see the excitement dancing in Draco's eyes.

"Well…Maybe… I haven't really put much thought into it. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. Don't get your hopes up," he added. Draco smirked evilly down at Neville and knelt down, his lips brushing over Neville's.

"Why don't we full around a bit then?" Draco whispered. Neville smiled as Draco's lips met his neck and began to suck at the skin tenderly.

"Don't leave a mark," Neville muttered to the blonde, his voice quiet and soft.

"Too late," the blonde growled. "If you wear your collar right it will hide it. Or you can just magically heal it."

"I suppose so," Neville whispered. He then brought his hands up to Draco's face and brought their lips together. There was slight resistance there. This was the first time they'd kissed each other and Malfoy tensed up considerably.

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"The bet should've been over after that night," Neville said. He wiped a tear from his cheek and sniffed bitterly. "But he never said a word. I can't help but think that it's because he was trying to score more money off of me by drawing it out. And he got laid while he was at it."

Hermione glared and put her hand on Neville's knee. He looked startled at first and then he rested his head on her shoulder. His acne had cleared up finally and after I had magically fixed his teeth he really didn't look all that bad.

"I didn't mean to kill him," Neville said. I saw Granger's brow furrow. "The curse I used… I never meant for it to work. You know how bad I am at magic."

"Yes," Hermione began slowly, "but sometimes in the heat of one's emotions it can heighten the effect of their magic ten times over. Even if you didn't mean to, your anger was enough to make the curse work. Which did you use?"

"It's similar to the killing curse," Neville murmured. "It separates the soul from the body though. And it's not an unforgivable."

"Yes…Well I believe we can reverse it if you can tell me what it was," Hermione murmured. "But it will take time. And since you're the only one that seems to be able to hear Malfoy, you should keep him close."

Neville looked hesitant.

"Is it wrong that I'm still angry with him?" Neville asked. "I know it was wrong to do something like this… I do. But I'm willing to do anything to fix it."

Was it sincere? I didn't know. All I knew was that when I had my body back, I would throw Neville from the highest tower in the castle.

I remembered that night though… The night that Neville lost his virginity. And in a way, I did too… My male on male virginity.

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Neville's lips met mine and my eyes widened. I'd never… Neville and I had never done this before. What the hell? I didn't even kiss Pansy on the mouth when I was dating her. It was too intimate for me…too close. I was going to pull away but didn't know what that would do. Neville's lips were soft and gentle against mine. I slowly leaned into the kiss, finding it a little more pleasant then I first thought it would be. This seemed to excite Neville even more.

Our mouths worked together; I was suddenly enjoying the contact very much. I broke the kiss first though and moved to Neville's neck, my hands opening Neville's school robes. Neville was slightly short of breath, but he reached up and slipped my robes from my shoulders. I stared down at Longbottom, my gray eyes burning into green.

"You," I said suspiciously. "Where did you learn to kiss like that huh?"

Neville grinned.

"I've never kissed anybody until just now," he smiled modestly. "It wasn't horrid?"

"Oh no," I said grinning widely at him. "It was far from that…"

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Neville laid down that night and I hovered above him, my little cloud self relaxing just above him.

"Are you still there Draco?" Neville whispered.

"Yes," I murmured.

"Don't go anywhere okay?" he muttered sleepily.

"Why would I?" I asked. "You're my only contact to the outside world. With out you I'll be roaming around in silence for the rest of eternity."

"How long have you been here?" Neville asked shifting so that he was peering directly up and through me, to the ceiling.

"A while," I said. "I don't really remember when it was exactly that I was aware of the fact that I was here again but I know I've seen a lot of interesting things whilst I've been floating about."

"Like what?" Neville asked.

"Did you know that Granger stands in front of the mirror nude for twenty minutes after every shower admiring herself?" I asked.

Neville snickered as he used to do when we were an item.

"And how's the view?" he asked.

"Rather tasty," I replied. "If only I had hormones…"

The two of us chuckled and when all was silent I rested. For the first time in a long time I became still. And when the morning came I found myself still above Neville, who was breathing softly.


	8. Harry Potter a Suspect

My Personal Hell

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. I plan to update on my other stories in the next couple of days. I hope you all enjoy the chapter. Love to all. **

**-Jessie**

**My Personal Hell**

Neville opened his eyes and sat up. Had it been a dream? He didn't know.

"Draco?" he asked.

I didn't answer him right away because in all honesty I was still resting. I was vaguely aware that I was being called and I began to stir. His hair ruffled in my breeze and he smiled.

"Are you there?" he asked again. He reached up and put his hand right in the center of me and I became fully aware of where I was and suddenly I was being pulled towards him. The more I think of it now I believe it was Neville doing it… Whether he realized he was or not.

"I'm here," I said. And then I was entering him again. He let out a gasp, and he tensed up as I became one with him. It was much like when we were intimate with each other. This time my transition was much smoother and he seemed to enjoy it. And I must say it was almost like an orgasm feeling the warmth engulf every particle of my essence. I suddenly could feel the soft sheets underneath Neville's palms and the pajamas on his body. He let out a deep breath and leaned into his pillows.

"Are you still there?" I asked. I felt my head nod. I was slightly short of breath as I stared up at the ceiling. I guess the first time I entered him by force, as unintentional as it had been, had resembled rape. That's why he hadn't been able to communicate with Granger. "Well this is odd," I drawled.

Suddenly the curtains around the bed got pulled open and Ronald Weasley stood there looking quite startled. I felt my blood run cold. It was because of the expression he wore.

"It was the oddest thing," he mumbled. His hair was standing up in all directions. It was clear he'd just woken up. I blinked furiously as Neville took over. We didn't realize it but his eyes turned from my cold gray, back to his seaweed green. Weasley looked even more bewildered.

"What's the matter Ron?" Neville asked casually.

"When I first woke up just now, I could have sworn I heard…" he paused. "And then I could've sworn I just saw…"

"What?" Neville asked as though he were genuinely interested. By his tone I could tell we were both worried. I stared at Weasley wide eyed. I was fighting to keep my emotions in check though, for fear that I would shine through Neville's eyes. For some reason I felt that would be a very bad thing. My father always said that I should trust my first instincts. So I bit my tongue and waited.

"Malfoy," Ron said simply. Our palms became sweaty. "I thought I heard Malfoy… And then when I pulled the curtains back the look you had on your face was almost like… Like you had an air of superiority about you… You had his eyes… Just a moment ago…"

He ran a hand over his face.

"I don't think you were fully awake, mate," Longbottom muttered. "Malfoy's dead, Ron. Do you think you might have had a dream about him or something?"

"I don't know," Ron said slowly. "That was very… Hmmm."

I watched as Weasel-B turned and walked into the bathroom.

"He's not up yet," Neville whispered to me. "He'll forget all about it after he's showered."

I wasn't so confident though.

"We'll see," I murmured. "Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, very actually," Neville replied, sighing. "I don't know why. But it feels much different from last night…"

"We should ask Granger about it," I replied. "Maybe it will help her figure out a little bit more about the curse you used."

"So you were still listening…" Neville stated. I shrugged and scratched his head.

We stood and I helped him pick out his clothing. Much like I had when we were dating. He let me dress him up and I fussed with his hair and his robes until he looked the way I wanted him to. We then went into the bathroom where we charmed his hair and skin clean, seeing as the shower was occupied and I thought it would be rather awkward if we hopped in with Weasley. Neville had slept too late to actually get a decent shower in. We went to breakfast.

--

Before we entered the Great Hall, Neville took a deep breath.

"Now. Just let me handle everything alright?" he asked. "Stay in back and I'll get us through the meal. We can't talk to Hermione about anything right now cause we'll be sitting with Harry and Ron too."

"Oh joy," I growled quietly.

"And keep the snide remarks to yourself," he said firmly. I remembered that tone. It was so hard for me to behave myself though. I knew that I had to keep a very low profile. I knew the importance of all of this. I nodded and let him take the steering wheel.

"It will be okay," he whispered. He must've known I was nervous and that made him nervous as well seeing as Malfoys never got the jitters. When he walked through those massive double doors I saw everyone I knew sitting at my old table. They looked odd now, without me… Like they were missing a crucial part of their flavor. I noticed how Neville's footsteps quickened as he passed the Slytherin table. I also noticed how they all seemed to be glaring at him. He took their trophy man… Their God… Of course I knew that nobody knew it was Longbottom. But I also knew that they would suspect it. Neville and I fought a lot towards the end…

Or perhaps I was thinking too highly of myself now.

"Neville!" Hermione called. She was waving at him energetically and he honed in on her small hand like a beacon. She was his little island in the middle of the ocean now, and she would save his life.

"Hey Hermione," he said thankfully. She patted the bench next to her and he took the seat, his knee knocking into hers under the table.

"So… Did you bring the goods?" she asked quietly.

"What goods?" he muttered with one eyebrow cocked. She looked at him with an expression that read, 'You can't be serious…"

I rolled my eyes. Neville never really was the brightest light bulb in the box…

"You know… What we were talking about last night," she said quietly.

"What were you guys talking about last night?" Ron asked through a mouthful of biscuit. He took another large bite and I cringed with my nose wrinkled. His hand fell away from his mouth as he stared wide-eyed at Neville, who shoved himself in front of me again. I realized I was shining through and mentally kicked myself.

"We weren't talking about anything important, Ron," Hermione began.

"Well what was he supposed to bring you then?" Ron asked not taking his eyes off of us. Hermione got a cold sinking feeling in her stomach and quickly cleared her throat.

"Nothing Ronald. It's school stuff," she said. "Nothing you'd be interested in. And why are you staring at Neville like that? It's not polite," she scolded. Ron blinked and looked away quickly, his mind clearly running over his conversation with Longbottom that morning.

"I-" he began. "Nothing… Nothing at all. I just thought I saw…" Weasley shook his head and went back to eating. "I swear. Sometimes I forget where my head is…"

"Yeah. You'd lose it if it wasn't attached to your shoulders," I whispered scornfully. Both Ron and Hermione looked at us this time.

"Did you say something Nev?" Ron asked.

"Er…" Neville stuttered. "I…um… I said you'd lose it if it wasn't attached to your shoulders," he blurted out. Ron turned a bright shade of red and I found myself chuckling inwardly.

"Now who's not being polite?" Ron asked sounding a little hurt. It was the first time that I realized Potter wasn't at the table yet. I don't know why but I quickly dismissed it as insignificant. It didn't matter.

Hermione giggled and went back to her bacon.

"But to answer your question," Neville said quietly addressing the bushy headed Gryffindor next to him. "Isn't it obvious?"

Hermione smiled and sighed.

"Yes. Yes it is," she said. "But we'll talk later."

Ronald looked suspicious and I didn't know why they were being so obvious about it all. It was then that Potter came striding into the Hall with his hands in his robe pockets. He was neatly combed and groomed. He sat down next to Ron and began loading his plate down with food.

"Morning," he said. He nodded at Neville and I glared.

"Is something the matter Neville?" he asked Longbottom casually. It was clear that the Stuck Up Boy Who Should've Died Long Ago, really didn't care either way. Apparently he'd seen me too… But Neville had averted his eyes quickly enough that I found myself glaring at the table.

"N-no Harry. Why would you say that?" Neville asked. This was going to be harder than I thought. For a moment I considered checking out for the time being and I wished there was a way I could relay this message to Neville but I didn't think he could hear my thoughts. Despite our new roommate situation of course… It seemed we were very much separate from one another still in that sense.

"You were just giving me a look is all," Harry replied. Neville shook his head.

"No. I was glaring at Zabini over there," Neville said quickly. He nodded and Harry turned to find my best friend glaring over at him.

"What Pot-Head?" Blaise snarled. Potter threw my former group the finger and went back to his eggs.

"They still think I had something to do with Malfoy's Death I guess," he muttered. He sighed and shook his head.

"Yeah. Well they haven't got anyone else to blame, Harry. There were rumors that the Dark Lord was using Malfoy to get information on you. So it would make sense that you wouldn't want him around," Hermione began. "And he was their friend. They must miss him." My, the little bookworm was good at improvisation. She knew what was going on and she was incredibly good at hiding it… Even though her and Neville needed a better code. I suppose that I'd work with them on that when we were alone. Still. If Miss Granger got me out of this fix I'd never insult her intelligence again.

"Don't get me wrong," Scarhead began. "I hated that git as much as he hated me but I never would've murdered him. Dear God. I'm not that deranged."

Which I knew to be true too. Potter never seemed like a likely potential killer to me. Maybe when it came to the Dark Lord, but definitely not me. Just like I'm not so sure I could've killed him if the order had been issued out to me.

Neville became squirmy and I brought one of his hands on top of the other one and squeezed it. He immediately calmed down. God. How could they _not_ suspect him? He was such a spazz. We would have to work on that too. The Slytherins were like sharks. They smelled blood in the water, even if it was miles away. And they would catch on eventually if we weren't careful. And Neville was mine to handle and mine alone. I didn't want any of them trying to take him out because that would ruin my chances of being reunited with my much-missed physical form.

"I know Harry," Hermione said soothingly. She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "I know. But it'll blow over once everything comes to the surface."

Neville went cold next to her and I squeezed his hand again.

"Yeah… I have to admit. The way things happened to Draco weren't right," Potter began. I was a little surprised to hear him call me by my first name but I didn't let it show. I was hiding… And I had to keep reminding myself that I was. "And they are suspicious as hell-"

Neville's legs were getting restless. Like he was about to get up and run from the Great Hall. I forced him to be still and then I felt another hand on his leg that I knew wasn't his. I looked down to find Granger's hand on his thigh, trying to keep him calm.

"-but I can't think of anyone who would be vicious enough, or hated him enough to want him dead," he finished. Neville fell still, even though his breath was coming a little more harshly than it had been a moment before. "If anything it was just a bad accident…"

"We can only hope," came a cold silky voice from behind Potter. I looked up to find Blaise standing behind him. "Because if I find out any different I'll be sure to take you out myself," he whispered venomously into Potter's ear. I couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that they suspected Harry, but either way… If this all blew over I would be so thankful I would tell everyone it was an accident. I found myself praying, which was something I didn't even do when I was still alive. Even though I still planned to make my former _partner_ pay.

"Honestly, it's like you think I'm a fellow Slytherin, Zabini," Scarhead snapped. He didn't get to his feet but he did turn around to face his new worst adversary.

"What's that supposed to mean Potter?" Blaise growled leaning forward. I'd never seen Blaise so angry before in my life and I was wondering if it's just because we never fought or because he was royally pissed off that I was no longer around to be his partner in crime. Did Slytherins miss their fellow housemates? Did they miss their friends? Sometimes it was hard to see my friends as human… Perhaps because I didn't see myself that way. Our reputation exceeded us and we were known to be a group of heartless bastards. But the fact that Blaise and the others seemed to even notice that I was no longer there meant more to me than anything at this point.

I mentally smacked myself again. I was beginning to remind myself of a woman. I was never this sentimental and emotional. I had to snap out of it.

"It means that you would be more likely to strike out and kill someone in cold blood than I would be in a million years. And I know a large amount of the student population would agree with me on that one," Potter said. Blaise chuckled and shook his head slowly.

"It doesn't matter if you've got the whole world backing you Potter," Blaise said with a derisive laugh. "Every single person who walks the face of this Earth has a dark side. It's like you think you should be exempt from that just because you're a '_hero_.' But I know different."

"Do you?" Harry asked. "If you scrape up some sort of proof that puts me at fault I'll take full responsibility. But perhaps you should just admit the real truth, Zabini. Accidents happen. And if he was murdered that's a shame. But you've got the wrong person. Believe it or not, I didn't want him dead. No matter how much of a nuisance he was."

"Poor your heart out to someone who cares, Potter. You didn't loose your best mate," Blaise snapped. I saw something fall across Blaise's features at that point and his lips tightened into a line. "I warned you once Potter. Just hope I don't find out different," he repeated before he hurriedly left the Great Hall. He exited just as Professor Snape came over to investigate the problem.

"What was all that about Potter?" he asked coldly. Honestly everyone had to of known by now.

"Nothing sir," Harry said looking down at his plate. "We were just talking…"

Snape looked over one guilty face after another.

"Right," he muttered. "I'll be keeping my eyes on you."

He returned back to his seat, his black robes swirling around him and he whispered something to the teacher sitting next to him. Ron let out a deep breath.

"This is going to get heavy," he muttered. "Isn't it?"

"No," Harry said. "As long as we don't give into them they won't have anything to bother us with. Just don't indulge them…"

Hermione nodded slowly staring thoughtfully at the pitcher of pumpkin juice in front of her.

"It's a shame really," she said. "Things like this are always hard. Imagine what his parents are going through…"

"I don't care much about that," Harry muttered tonelessly. "It's not like they care what I've gone through since my parents have been dead. If anything they helped cause it."

That was fair enough in my opinion even though it still angered me. But I also supposed Blaise was right. Everyone had a dark side. Even the noble Harry Potter.


End file.
